Goodbye seems to be the hardest word

This is going to be my last blog from Uganda and it is going to be a blog about goodbyes. After almost a year away, sadly the time has come to say goodbye and it is something I have been dreading for a while. The last 11 months have gone by so quickly that it almost feels like it's been a dream. As I sit here writing this in my hotel room it all feels quite surreal.

Over the last few weeks I have been handing over my medical duties to Nurse Ruth and Nurse Claire (a student nurse who has joined us as an intern for 8 weeks), preparing myself for today and as the end of my time serving here at GSF has been looming closer.
It already started about a month ago when I attended the HIV clinic with some of our children. Walking away from the hospital after having been there so many times, I thanked the doctor for all of her support to me over the last year. As I walked away it was difficult and I was more emotional about it than I had expected. I have found it hard to nurse these special children during their illnesses and in the reality that they have HIV, but what I guess has been equally hard has been knowing that when these kids are sick they don't have mum's and dad's to love them while they are suffering. I am reassured and am able to move on from here knowing that they will continue to get good medical care with the new nurses here at GSF and that there are lots of people here who can give them hugs and as much love as they need. Although I will miss being able to be one of the people that can hold, support and love on these children, they certainly won't be left short of hugs and TLC when I go. 

At times throughout the last year I have felt as though I am in the middle of a comic relief advert where all around me is despair and heartache with too many problems and too few answers. However, during the moments I have felt this I have been so grateful to remember GSF and what an amazing place it is. A place that God is using to reach out to the orphans and destitute children in Uganda. As I say goodbye to the wonderful children, missionaries and staff here that I have become so close to I thank God for having moved my heart to desire to serve Him here this year. For giving me compassion, patience, a strong resilience and a tender heart so that I was able to nurse those I was called to. 
I admit that some days it has been tough and I have wondered if I had been taking any steps forward amongst the many I felt that I would be taking backwards amongst the difficulties of trying to nurse in a developing country but one story that frequently came to mind during my year away has been about the boy and the starfish;

"An old man was walking along a deserted beach one morning. A huge storm had washed millions of starfish onto the sandy beach the night before.  As the sun rose the starfish started to dry out and die.  As he walked he could see a young boy in the distance, as he drew nearer he noticed that the boy kept bending down, picking a starfish up and throwing it back into the water. Time and time again he kept throwing them back into the sea. As the old man approached he asked the boy what he was doing. The boy replied, explaining that if he didn't put the starfish back in the sea they would die. "But", the man said, "You can't possibly save them all, there are thousands on this beach". The boy looked down, frowning for a moment; then bent down to pick up another starfish, smiling as he threw it back into the sea. He replied, “Well, I made a difference for that one.’’
Author Unknown

One of the challenges of working here has been trying to work out how much if any impact I could and have had on the children and adults I have met. It has been hard to know how much I could do in a very short space of time, a year really isn't all that long!! I have learned to listen to God's call on my life and the reasons he brought me here, about just trying to make a difference to the ones who's paths cross with mine. As I have been paying a little more attention to all the small moments the last few weeks and as I have contemplated how much I am going to miss the children I have come to realise that if I have made half as much impact on their little lives as they have made on mine then I have probably done ok!


On Wednesday I said those final goodbyes. It was harder than I ever could have imagined. Africa and so many of the people here have stolen my heart!! As the hour drew closer to me having to drive away I went around the site and stole as many last hugs, held as many hands, took as many last photos as I was able and gave as many kisses as I possibly could in my limited amount of time that was left. It was an emotional morning and it felt like everywhere I looked someone else was crying and saying goodbye to me. I had enjoyed a wonderful few days of saying goodbye to as many people as I could. The missionaries on Tuesday night had thrown me a small goodbye supper and the missionary children sang the most beautiful song to me (see lyrics below). At the Tuesday morning house mothers meeting they sang me a song which they had written themselves which again had amazing, thoughtful and such personal words. I had been approached through the week by many members of staff and children at GSF who had given me letters to say goodbye and brought me small gifts from their well earnt money. The sunset and star filled sky on Tuesday night was one of the nicest I have seen in my year here so it was a wonderful walk home from the missionary party and time to contemplate all God has blessed me with this year. The clear night sky was met by an equally glorious sunrise on my final morning, Africa really is so beautiful and it was making itself very clear about that in my last few hours at GSF! 
What really tipped me over the edge Wednesday morning was when precious Phillip who I have become so close to this year started to cry. I gave him a hug and I made him give me one of his wonderful smiles before I walked him to school and waved to him as he ran to his class. Oh, how my heart aches.....

Now it's time for us to say, Good-bye for just a while, 

and until that day we'll meet again, may God's love make you smile,

And we'll be friends forever, Jesus and you and me, 

He joins our hearts together and friends we'll always be.

Now when you see the sun, you'll know, I see the same one too,

and when you see the stars, they'll say 'hello' from me to you,

And we'll be friends forever, Jesus and you and me, 

He joins our hearts together and friends we'll always be.

May the Lord bless you and take care of you, 

may the Lord be kind and gracious to you, 

may the Lord look on you with favour and give you peace, Amen.

Teddy and Leticia

Teddy

A couple of weeks ago we welcomed baby Teddy to GSF (in Uganda, Teddy is a girls name). Teddy is 3 months old and came to us as she is malnourished and is needing care that her grandmother can no longer provide for her. Her mother is very young and left Teddy with her grandmother to care for her. The grandmother has been trying hard to care for Teddy even going to the lengths of breastfeeding her (the grandmother is 75 years old) as she didn't have enough money to buy formula. Teddy came to us weighing 3.5kgs which is the weight of a newborn baby so we are hoping to build her up and make her very chubby! Teddy's grandmother came to visit her on Tuesday and it is wonderful to hear that she longs to continue a relationship with this sweet girl.

Leticia

Last week Leticia's mother carried her to the gate of GSF and asked to come in as she had heard that she might be able to get some help here. Leticia is 9 months old and when weighed by the Social Worker and Nurse Claire only weighed 3 kgs (that's less than the average weight of a new born baby). Claire told me that they weighed her three times as they didn't believe the reading on the scales! Leticia was taken to the nearest hospital and admitted and treated for malnutrition.

A few days ago Leticia's mother returned to GSF with Leticia and the hospital discharge papers and it was on this occasion that I got to meet them. I picked up Leticia and couldn't believe how under nourished she was. I could feel all of her bones and could visibly see all of her ribs. She literally felt like a 'bag of bones'. It's hard to describe what holding her felt like as she was so fragile but then in contrast her head felt heavy and strong on top of this tiny frame. GSF plan to admit Leticia and her mother to the new babies home which opens this month. This will enable her mother to remain with her while Leticia grows stronger and her mother learns some new skills and is supported in caring for her.

Please continue to pray for Teddy and her grandmother, Leticia and her mother and all of the families that GSF have dealings with each week from the surrounding communities. Today I read a scary statistic that 1 in 4 households in Uganda is caring for at least one orphan. In a society where the average annual income is only £250 that adds a huge burden on those families. 

Special People - GSF Missionaries

My last 'Special People' blog is on a group of people who have been my family throughout this year. As you know I have been serving at Good Shepherd's Fold Orphanage over the last 11 months. During this time my team mates and fellow missionaries have become very special to me. 

For a reminder......

(and just because Robb's blog about GSF was so amazing I have stolen (with permission!) part of his recent blog which can be found here if you'd like to read more of his stories...http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Snapshot.html?soid=1102157695494&aid=Mj-mLbwHQ6c) 

........here is a snapshot of GSF, who we are, what we do and why these special people are so dear to me.

Setting: Good Shepherd's Fold: 120 acres filled with a farm (pigs, cows, goats and occasionally monkeys), a school and six orphan homes surrounded by sugar cane fields and one of the larger rain forests in Uganda in one direction and Lake Victoria (the second largest lake in the world) in the other direction. Only 30 minutes from the source of the Nile.

The Cast:

Claudia -  A lady from Colombia, South America who has lived and served at GSF for 14 years. She has adopted three Ugandan kids already and has four others that stay with her. She handles all the adoptions for Good Shepherd's Fold and does much of our accounting.

Mark & Amy - A couple with three kids who have previously worked with international schools in South Korea and Singapore. They have been serving at GSF for 4 years and handle all the farm management, child care, house mothers (ladies who stay with and take care of the orphans), maintenance team and handle the intake of orphans.

Robb & Sheila - They have been here since April and have three kids. Robb directs education for GSF, heads up Mercy Ministry for GSF and deals with all the older students whether in high school or university. Sheila will help with organization at the school and donor communications. 

The Interns - GSF currently have 4 American University students serving here for the summer. Emily (post grad), Janie, Claire and Ashley will be here for 8 weeks and will help out in various ministries here.

Focus: Good Shepherd's Fold started out solely as an orphanage to deal with the AIDS crisis. A veteran from Vietnam who lost his legs saw the orphan crisis created by AIDS. He opened up his home and started caring for the kids. However as it matured he thought if we provided care for certain destitute mothers or fathers their kids might not end up in an orphanage. Mercy ministry and Social Work have therefore become bigger focuses at GSF. We constantly walk a fine line between trying to empower a local community to care for their own destitute and realizing that many of the communities we are dealing with are so poor that they simply cannot provide all that is needed to even meet basic needs. We therefore offer a feeding program for mothers with young children (and the elderly) that are malnourished so that their children do not end up at GSF because the mother cannot feed them. 

Additional examples of these sorts of situations that we have dealt with in the last two weeks are:

1.  A father who was recently paralyzed (see my recent blog last month about taking this man to the hospital) by a stroke and cannot move 1/3rd of his bodies but has four children under eleven. The eleven year old takes care of his father and cooks for all the kids. His wife left him after he had the stroke and at that point he bought poison to kill himself and his children as he thought they would starve to death anyway. Fortunately, some community members brought him to church and a pastor helped to give him hope through faith in Christ. While trying to encourage the community to do what they can GSF is providing medical assistance to see if the father's condition can improve and hopefully the kids can stay with their father.
2. A mentally insane mother who locked herself and her children into their mud hut. She was found still covered with blood from childbirth several weeks after giving birth and human waste all over the floor. The children have been taken to GSF while counseling services and mental health experts attempt to treat the mother.
3. A grandmother who is attempting to take care of her abandoned grandchild in her tiny mud hut but has a problem with rats continually biting their feet at night. We have yet to come up with a solution.

I have been blessed this year to have been able to serve alongside this group of people. They have taught me all of their American ways (including inviting me to a wonderful Thanksgiving party, teaching me new recipes, new words and amazing ways on how to pronounce the 'A' sound in a variety of words!), loved me, fed me, driven me around, encouraged me and been a spiritual and emotional support through all the ups and downs that we have faced in this journey that we have been on this last year. They have taught me about living in Africa, about what it means to be a missionary, how to cope/manage and pray through good and tough times. They are incredibly hard working, dedicated, honourable, kind, loving and great examples to the GSF kids. 


As I prepare to leave GSF please continue to pray for these guys and all of the hard situations they face including the difficult decisions they have to  address each week. Just the above 3 examples show what tricky decisions have to be made each week in order to serve the community in the best way that GSF is able. 

Mark & Amy, Claudia, Robb & Sheila - all very special people, with a very special place in my heart who have become a huge part of my daily life.  I will miss seeing each of them every day.
Thank you guys for everything. 

L-R: Amelia, Hope, Claudia, Anna, Bobby, Emma, Maggie

Back L-R: Titus, Megan. Front: Amy, Caralina, Mark

L-R: Teddy, Avery, Avalyn, Sheila, Hayden, Robb